of Planning and Idea Generation also has a public service face.
In order to raise some money, we offer a number of useful services
to help you plan things - at very competitive rates (see note
1 below), although results are not guaranteed and, for legal
purposes, it will not be counted as a "must follow"
action plan (n.2). This service will involve us planning your
shopping trip, company revival scheme or major atrocity, telling
you how we would go about it, and (if applicable) passing your
details onto the police (n.3).
design of our career development programmes have placed us in
the enviable position of being able to claim to offer jobs for
life (n.4). Our careers offer long-term opportunities (n.5) with
many exciting challenges awaiting you (n.6). There is currently
no uniform policy and no office; employees work from home and
are contacted by email (n.7).
as a department with no regular income stream and slowly rising
costs, we are generally short of money, so all generous donations
are be accepted as long as they are legal, traceable, from decent
people, and without strings attached (n.8). The Order of the
Bed is not noted for ease of corruption, and we are quite willing
to take £4,000,000 from you one day and knock your house
down the next (unless you gave it to us so that we would knock
your house down, whereupon we will pass the sum to a deserving
preserved railway (n.9)).
- At cost price or not
- Which means you can't
sue us if it all goes belly-up.
- If not applicable then
your details will be destroyed once we have received payment.
- Nobody has left yet
because nobody will want to employ them.
- You won't get anything
extra in the next ten years.
- Trying to get the boss
to give you a pay rise in line with inflation.
- This means that our
IT person is responsible for not losing your work rather than
the Post Office.
- Consequently we are
yet to accept a donation.
- There are plenty out
there, and they all want money for something.