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Department of Planning and Idea Generation  
Our glorious Head of Department, Mr B. Bear Esq.

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The Order of the Bed Department of Planning and Idea Generation is the Order's most important department. Our efforts are primarily currently directed towards planning the re-opening of the Wye Valley Railway, between Chepstow and Monmouth, to provide Monmouth with a relaxing transport link which is suited to our target audience - largely those who prefer to settle back and enjoy life with exercise, excitement and excessive indulgence being kept to enjoyable levels.

We also provide planning and ideas for every other department in the Order. The Seasonal Area pages are produced with a great deal of support from us, in exchange for which they are kind enough to occasionally feature our stuff. We have helped the Sleeping Department and the Staying in Bed Department restore themselves to their former status in the Order's hierarchy, and we have drawn up a variety of timetables for the development of new departments and pages.  

The Department of Planning and Idea Generation also has a public service face. In order to raise some money, we offer a number of useful services to help you plan things - at very competitive rates (see note 1 below), although results are not guaranteed and, for legal purposes, it will not be counted as a "must follow" action plan (n.2). This service will involve us planning your shopping trip, company revival scheme or major atrocity, telling you how we would go about it, and (if applicable) passing your details onto the police (n.3).

Our careful design of our career development programmes have placed us in the enviable position of being able to claim to offer jobs for life (n.4). Our careers offer long-term opportunities (n.5) with many exciting challenges awaiting you (n.6). There is currently no uniform policy and no office; employees work from home and are contacted by email (n.7).

Regrettably, as a department with no regular income stream and slowly rising costs, we are generally short of money, so all generous donations are be accepted as long as they are legal, traceable, from decent people, and without strings attached (n.8). The Order of the Bed is not noted for ease of corruption, and we are quite willing to take £4,000,000 from you one day and knock your house down the next (unless you gave it to us so that we would knock your house down, whereupon we will pass the sum to a deserving preserved railway (n.9)).


  1. At cost price or not much above.
  2. Which means you can't sue us if it all goes belly-up.
  3. If not applicable then your details will be destroyed once we have received payment.
  4. Nobody has left yet because nobody will want to employ them.
  5. You won't get anything extra in the next ten years.
  6. Trying to get the boss to give you a pay rise in line with inflation.
  7. This means that our IT person is responsible for not losing your work rather than the Post Office.
  8. Consequently we are yet to accept a donation.
  9. There are plenty out there, and they all want money for something.

Last modified 14/03/11

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